Hello Charlie fans - welcome to my special page. Here you can see stuff what is important for dogs to know about, like biscuits and that. Please e-mail me with any comments or suggestions about me and my special page. Thanks!
Here is a picture of me:
I have been asked to say a few words about my friends the animals. Animals are my friends, so I don't eat them. I've been offered meat once or twice, but to be honest I prefer a nice organic courgette (that's a zucchini to our American or Italian friends).
I don't think much of red lentils, and I'm not a fan of spices or other seasonings. Rice pudding is my very favourite though, made with soya milk and a small pinch of cinnamon.
I also like carrots, peppers, potatoes, tofu, TVP and beans, as well as my special vegan dog foods, Yarrah biscuits and Happidog. Well actually I spit out the maize flakes, but who doesn't?! Even mice, guinea pigs and squirrels don't eat those! Maybe they could be used to build tiny dry stone walls in Mouse villages.
I have to admit I have chased the occasional animal* in my time, but only by invitation - they started running and it would have been impolite not to join in when invited to play so nicely. Rest assured, the one time I chased a rabbit and it ran out of puff, I just stopped when it did and waited for it to catch its breath. Before the game could resume, Joanna seemed to want to say something to me quite urgently, so I went back to see what she wanted - I didn't quite catch the words though. Maybe next time, she could put her thoughts in a nice letter. Everyone likes to get a nice letter.
Anyway, as chasing does seem to upset Joanna and Julie a bit, I just sit and watch animals these days, somewhat like in my picture, but watching animals at the same time.
The vet has described me as being very healthy and "well-muscled." I'm certainly athletic and can jump very high when the mood takes me, for example to jump over a wall or to chase a stick. This is apparently allowed as sticks are not animals. Must be the lack of fur, which I guess makes them insects? Mind you - I don't think I'm meant to chase those either, so maybe not. In any case, while chasing is allowed, I'm not allowed to eat sticks, so maybe they are animals, after all!
Charlie T Dog. (T stands for Tiberius, like Captain Kirk)
*This is nothing like an occasional table, despite also having 4 legs.
Update - July '08
Last year we went on holiday to the seaside. I like the seaside - well, seasides are made especially for dogs, in fact. That is why you will see so many dogs running around and having a good time when you visit the seaside. One of the nicest things about the seaside is that you can run around in any direction, except into the sea. Some dogs don't seem to mind getting wet, but I think they must be getting confused and thinking they're silly old cats or something because dogs don't like the water. I've heard that silly old cats don't mind the water and they also like listening to opera music, which dogs can't stand! Elvis and Ella Fitzgerald are what dogs like best. Silly old cats also eat fish so maybe that's why they don't mind the sea. I went in the sea twice a few years ago - in Italy and in Greece. I didn't mind the sea there because it was much warmer - a bit like soup, but cooler. I chased a bit of seaweed and accidentally bit Joanna's finger. It went septic which just goes to show that you can't be too careful around seaweed. Pavements are less good than the seaside for running around on, because they seem to made with just two directions in mind - there and back again. That's not so good for dogs because dogs like to run around in circles and every which way. Anyway, a month or two after our holiday we moved to the seaside, which is good for me because I'm a dog. Dog's like the seaside. We're also close to a forest which is good for dogs too, but I like the seaside best.
Charlie's Log Nov 2008
'lo. As the year draws in, I want to tell you about something very close to my heart. Yesterday I had to have an operation on my paw because I think I banged my dew claw when I was jumping over a stile the day before yesterday and it cracked and was very painful so I went to the vet and she clipped off the damaged bit with a nurse. Then they bandaged my paw up with a blue crepe bandage and some plasters. When I got home, Joanna made me a little boot out of something called a rubblesack and we went for a walk around a lake where there are ducks and geese and there were also jays and robins and chaffinches and those little ones with funny haircuts and a nuthatch called Andrew. We did some dashing about and some very important stick destruction, because life cannot stand still for poorly paws. I saw quite a few dogs as well and they all had people with them who seemed to be quite interested in my paw, though not interested enough to smell it. We rode to work in the van which was good because I have my own seat and I went into the class as well so everyone could admire my paw. No one wrote their name on it though, which I'm glad about because it is still quite sore. The manager took a photo of me to send to his wife and Joanna and Julie took some pictures too. My bandage is off now and my paw smelled quite funny when it first came off, but it tasted OK.
My paw yesterday:
A big wuf to all my dear readers. Well, what a year it has been since we last spoked. So much has changed it's hard to know where to start. The summer was great cos we met a man called Charlie who makes chips and fries them separately in vegetable oil so Joanna and Julie can eat them and they give them to me because they know how much I love chips because a man on the beach gave me some out of his tray and there were some students who gave me their crab sticks with sors on and lots more people have given me treats like biscuits and that. I like biscuits me but not as much as chips. Not far off, mind.
The biggest change is that I now love animals so much that I eat them. Well, we all sat down together and decided it was time I went back to nature to get a bit of weight on and it seems to make me happy. I now know what it means to be a dog and to live to eat. I still eat silly old rabbit food as well cos they're so greedy someone has to stop them from eating everything cos they'd have the contents of your fridge before you knew what had hit you otherwise. Light paws, bunny rabbits. And fluffy tails, but don't be fooled. But anyway for some reason I still like eating cauliflowers and carrots and courgettes and cabbage and spuds and aubergines and peppers and TVP chunks and nuttolene and pasta and rice pudding and chick peas what I swallow whole.
Other news is that we have all enjoyed watching a new TV show called The Itche Kadoozy Show what is about a Rabbi and Jono and Gefilte Fish who wears a slice of carrot on his head and Joanna has bought the T-Shirt cos it says hooray for me a bit like Pellephant but a fishcake.
Charlie's Christmas Message, Dec 25th 2009
Hullo again readers. The novelty of eating meat has worn off. I don't like it much after all. I'm quite happy to snaffle all my veggies, but I leave the meaty biscuits sat in the bottom of my bowl. They try hard to get me to eat them - strirring them around and mixing them with a little sors or hiding them inside pasta shells which I like loads and loads, but I spit them out like pips, but I do really, really like my Yarrah Duo Snacks cos they're veggie and taste of malt, but if the meaty biscuits are packed inside some kitchen paper in a toilet roll tube and the ends are scrunched up and then it is thrown for me like a bone and I chase it and catch it, they taste quite good. Something I did that seemed to give Joanna and Julie a shock was catching a pheasant and starting to eat her. I got told off for some reason and I'd have thought they'd be chuffed cos I was contributing to the household by catching my own food and it's only natural - I am a wolf, after all. I don't remember any tellings off last time Julie picked blackberries - maybe being a bear is OK. Bloomin' 'scrimination 'gainst dogs I call it and that's the worst sort.
Talking of wolves, Joanna and Julie got me a DNA testing kit so I can find out about what's in me so hopefully I'll know soon what I'm a cross between and be able to make sense of my identity. Joanna got one too and I don't know what else she's got in her make up, but I suspect some lakeland and maybe, from her bark, a larl bit o' patterdale.
Ho Ho Ho - Merry Christmas One And All!
My test results came through today and they are quite interesting. It would appear that I am probably a mongrel-cross-mongrel, or a Maltese-cross-mongrel. My most dominant genetics are Maltese (37 - 74%), but with Border Collie, Australian Shepherd dog and German Shepherd all thrown in to the mix at 10 - 19% each.
This unique combination makes me a Charliedog.
Joanna has not had very detailed results through yet, though early signs seem to indicate her ancestors spreading through North Africa from Sumer and also from Russia up into Norway and Sweden, as well as down through Poland, possibly as far as what is now the Czech Republic. All of this would fit with what she knows about her family, though I hasten to add that none of it is remotely as exotic or interesting (nor indeed as exclusive) as Maltese. Maybe it is high time I learned how to yap - especially seeing as how they won't let me chase sheep. Yeah right, like it's my fault?! You can't fake breeding, you know.
UPDATE: Joanna Zorya's maternal Antic Tribe (from 900BC - 900AD) is Sami / Saami.
UPDATE 2: Joanna's paternal Antic Tribe is Jewish - dating back to the period prior to the split into Ashkenazim (Eastern European Jews), Sephardim (Jews in Spain and Portugal)and Mizrahim (Middle Eastern Jews). Virtually all of her recent recorded exact and close genetic matches are Ashkenazi, with relatives in Hungary, Russia, Lithuania, Germany, Poland, The Czech Republic, Romania, the Ukraine and Moldova. This was quite unexpected, but she thinks it's very cool!
UPDATE 3: Joanna has been contacted by some close genetic matches and it would appear that on her father's side, as well as being of Jewish descent, the family could well stem from Levite origins - the priestly class of the Jewish people. This would make her an actual blood relation of Biblical figures such as Aaron, Moses, Jacob and Abraham. It probably doesn't get much cooler than that.
Joanna has been finding out a lot more about her Saami heritage and she finds it all very interesting and exciting, as well as making so many things suddenly make so much sense. See her page on Military Strategy Games for some information on Saami boardgames.
- Boule et Bill
This is a very good piece of Mac OSX FTP / SFTP Client software for people that like making web-pages and it has a lovely little dog that looks a little bit like me who runs off and gets web-pages from your website for you so you can edit them... I don't know his name though.
Living a meat-free life
They have some very nice pictures of lambs, pigs, ponies, geese, cows, hens and things, as well as fascinating interviews with people like Benjamin Zephaniah, Wendy Turner-Webster and Tony Benn.
- Animal Aid
They're good because they don't believe in hurting mink or grey squirrels or pigeons or lobsters or any animal, fish or bird and they rescued a Rat called Trevellyan and they sell fudge and lots of multicultural vegan cookbooks and they have pictures of lambs too.
- Watch the film "Earthlings"
- Animal Aid
- PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)
- IFAW (International Fund for Animal Welfare)